“You’re so full of yourself” … a comment that is so frequently made towards women. Is that supposed to be offensive? Sounds like it. But that might just be more of a compliment, in my opinion.....If you aren’t full of yourself - then what are you full of? Other people’s wants for you? Everything aside from yourself?
Women are expected to remain small. Sit appropriately. Be polite. Speak when spoken to. Do as expected. Don’t be too loud. You can be mad, but only if you’re PMS’ing or keep it inside. And if you are exhibiting too much emotion - you’re crazy. Historically and culturally, women are viewed as less-than-men. We are expected to tone ourselves down, as to not offend the patriarchy.
Personally, I used to never speak unless spoken to. I was quiet. I was anxious. I was so cognizant to what other people thought of me - that I did not care to be myself. I felt so small. I would say that it has been 2 years since I was in that place. And I absolutely refuse to go back. I never again will shrink myself out of fear of what other people think, or do anything that limits my ability to reach my full potential. Knowing that I am a good person and do good for others - is enough for me. I will never be in a position to abandon myself for the benefit of others. I am far from perfect, but I know what I bring to the table. And my wish is for our future generation to individually know this for themselves. Imagine how beautiful the world could be with women who are committed to being themselves and how much good could be done?
The quote utilized in Beyonce’s ”Flawless” sums this up perfectly ”we teach girls to shrink themselves, to make themselves smaller. We say to girls 'You can have ambition, but not too much’ You should aim to be successful but not too successful otherwise you threaten the man. Because I am female…." from Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie - one of my favorite feminist author and activist. Adichie’s work goes far beyond a Beyonce song - but this publicity brought light to her quote.
Women are powerful. Women are beautiful. Women exhibit pure strength. Women are so much more than society has allowed us to be. IF we all reached our full potential - who does that threaten? The patriarchy. The historically framed and 'typical' power ideology. But that doesn't sound all that bad. I would love to see a world with women in power. Women deserve to take up space. Boohoo to the patriarchy.
We need less selfless women and more women who are full of themselves. This includes abandoning the world’s expectations of us and following your expectation for yourself. This life is no one’s but your own Someone cannot tell you that you are “too much” when you are the only one who has lived your experiences and only one who knows deeply everywhere you have been and everything you have experienced.
To be noted... there is a difference between confidence and cockiness. There is a way to be "full of yourself" in a healthy way. Cockiness comes into play when you think you are better than those around you. We are all women, battling similar battles. We should always be bringing each other up, instead of down. Your confidence should always come from within, as opposed to from making other's feel smaller because of their own position. You can fix someone else's crown without letting the whole world know that it was crooked, and you can be proud of your accomplishments without downplaying other's accomplishments. We should all be cheering each other on.
”Your perception is your reality” and if my perception of myself is that I am full. And your perception of me is that I am full…What is the issue?
Do not let anyone judge you or try to belittle you for loving yourself and all that you are. Above all else, you deserve to be you in all circumstances and you do not need permission to love who YOU are.
I would much rather be so full of myself that there is no room for anyone to make me feel small. No room for anyone to tell me who I am, without me already knowing. Be full of yourself and don't apologize.
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I aggressively believe that every woman should read "Untamed" By Glennon Doyle. That book changed my life and was the turning point, I do not know if I would be writing this article if it weren't for the 10 times I have read that amazing book. Glennon has a chapter that addressed the need to be full of yourself - much better than my own writing of it.
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