Age of Adeline, that is the movie that I am watching as a write this. Adeline gets struck by lightening, and she has a condition where she will never age. She vowed to herself that she would never tell anyone her truth. She fell in love years prior to the setting of this movie, and saw he was going to propose. She disappeared. Fast forward to present day, she goes on a date, falls in love, meets his parents - and his Dad was the one she previously loved. The Father was always waiting for her, dreaming of her.
Each day, we leave behind past versions of ourselves and have the opportunity to emerge new. The people we love, the people we have loved, the experiences we have - live on through us. To be able to love someone to your fullest in the time where your souls collide, that is so amazing. Regardless of how it ends. Because it never fully does end. I have been done very wrong by a lot of people who have come in my life (I also have done wrong). But each of those people who hurt me taught me something valuable. They still were good people, despite some of the decisions they made. I still have love for each one and could tell you exactly what I love about them. Even if they aren't in my life anymore, or won't ever be back in my life.
In my opinion, platonic love is the most pure. To choose your friends is such a beautiful thing about being an adult. In school, you are put with a specific group of people and it isn't really your choice (or it didn't feel like it to me). As an adult, you seek out friends. It is just a part of adulting, you have to find those friendships. You get to choose who you give time to. You choose where your energy lands. Picking those people and consistently choosing to show up for them - that is pure. The best friendships are the ones where you constantly laugh together but have each other's back for the hard times, the unbearable times. I love that friendships as an adult do not mean talking every day, but you always pick up where you left off. My best best friends live out of state and that friendship is still there regardless. You choose your people and it is a very intentional choice to continue showing up for each other.
Romantic relationships teach you a lot about yourself, about others, communication, and lessons. Each of those relationships prepare you for the one that is next. My first love was...dramatic and everything that a first love should be. Exciting, brand new, invigorating. I loved that they were so thoughtful and intentional towards me. I also think I really got over the "romantic gestures" after that - it was all way overdone. We had a silly scrapbook, we did all the cheesy things. It was a young love... it was ignorant. My second love was sweet, thoughtful, pure. Full of joy and adventure. Taught me a lot about myself. But also the most painful. After that pain, I experienced a lot of relationships that I did not get the feeling of being "in love" but I did have love for those people. That is a really important distinction I have learned in my life - there is a difference between being in love and loving someone. I don't think I have a preference towards one or the other, because either way - experiencing the feeling of love and giving love to someone is a beautiful thing that can happen every day.
I have struggled a lot recently with feeling like...ermmm knowing... I do not receive the same love that I give. Maybe that is true, because there are multiple instances where I can cite that. It is the most painful realization. It sucks to give pieces of yourself and your time to someone who does not reciprocate that energy. It takes a toll on your psyche. But I do not regret it. I do not regret being kind and giving towards anyone. I do not regret being generous, transparent about my feelings, or genuine. I will never regret that.
The thing about love is that it lives on. Each moment exists in that person's memory. Each feeling that you made each other feel was unique to you two and that certain moment. How cool? How special? How euphoric?
As far as my Age of Adeline reference... I like to believe that all love lives on like in that movie. In different capacities. Love is multifaceted. No two loves are the same. You never get the same love twice. That will always stay unique. And I am okay with that, because in that moment it was beautiful...regardless of what came next. And whatever comes next, is probably more beautiful than the last.
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